It’s amazing the change in life that comes over you when you have a website that you use to write about life, and you try to include things that other people might find funny. See, normally you let things go by in life and don’t think too much about them. But int he world of the web, you start to look for opportunities to present themselves, and sometimes you jump all over them.
Case in point: Friday night Christy and I had dinner out, without the kids, and went to a place we think is pretty nice. She had a gift certificate that she had gotten a while back, so we were looking to enjoy that to the utmost of our abilities (read: drink our asses off). So we made a reservation, and showed up about three minutes early by my watch. We walked in and the host promptly sat us down. So we sat at the table and talked and watche dthe restaurant traffic go by and all that stuff. We talked about the drinks we’d order. After about four or five minutes a bus person/helper pretty much ran by and dropped off some waters at our table. we both kind of laughed at the bustling place and decided to bet on how long it would be before we were helped. I said three minutes, she said five. It took one, but it may not have counted because the waiter just stopped long enough to tell us he hadn’t forgotten. So when he got back, we ordered. I ordered a Caesar Salad with salmon. The waiter asked me if I meant the Caesar with salmon in it, or the salmon with a Caesarr as my salad. I told him that it was the former.
When Christy’s salad arrived, I also got a salad – a Caesar. We both looked at it and had the revelation that I would not in fact be getting my Caesar for dinner, but a plate with salmon instead. Almost as if he could read our thoughts, the waiter stopped by to let me know he was aware that I had not ordered that salad, and I would be getting my correct order. Okay, problem averted. Besides, I had already decided not to say anything if it had been wrong. But then we started to look at other tables. Everyone had their water in nice goblet water glasses. We had tumblers. Just then I saw the bus person/helper getting all pissed about something. So I asked Christy if I should ask that person why our glasses were different. Of course I should. The truly evil sides of Ryan and Christy were creeping to the surface. I could go through an array of questions, like, “Do we look extra thirsty tonight?” or, “Were you afraid my snake-like tongue would lash out and knock the nice glass onto the floor at some point this evening?” It could be fun.
Then I got nice and said there was no way I would ask her. Christy was disappointed and told me to do it. I asked why, and her response was, “You could write about it.” So that’s what it’s come to around here, eh? We ddo mean things to people in order to later make fun of the person on our website. we have all become whores to the blogosphere (I only said it to make a point). And you know you’ve all done it. Whether you actually wrote about it makes no difference. You have entered a situation, inflamed with the thought of later telling the story, then left it in a shambles. I’m just proud that I did not go through with it. I can sleep at night, can you?