British Comedies Suck, Hard

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Monday March 21, 2005.

It seems I’ve awoken from my homebrew/rum-and-coke/Pack-losing induced comatic stupor. Actually, I woke up briefly on Sunday for just long enough to brew a new batch of beer for an upcoming party, but that’s about it. I was pissed on Saturday. Not so much because my team lost, but because I’m starting to think that when I hold parties to watch my teams play in sporting events, the results are not so good. Take, for example, the last party I held. It was on January 26, 2003 for Super Bowl XXXVII, and things did not go well then, either. I even painted my hair silver. That party was attended by one of the stars from the hit television show Wild Nevada, The Funk, a real estate agent, a mortgage broker, and even a couple that had never witnessed anything like a Super Bowl before. Things, including myself, were pretty much cashed in by halftime.

This time I sort of threw a spur of the moment party and invited the real estate agent, the mortgage broker, my dad, the no-Super-Bowl people (no shows – they have yet to witness a college basketball tournament game) and the other star of Wild Nevada. Of course, I should have invited Ed and the other Wild Nevada star, but I’m not a guy who remembers stuff like that. I’ll just tell them how cool things were the next day. Besides, if you read this site, you were already invited, but nobody asked me for directions.

Now that we’re through with the background, you’re probably wondering what the hell two posts are doing on this page within three days of each other. That’s simple: I had to get the previous one the hell off the top of the page. That’s just messed up when you make a bold prediction and blow it then disappear as it stays in a prominent position for a long time. So, my gracing you with another post quickly is due to my unwillingness to disgrace myself.

So I really was stupified. Once the game ended, and people left, I tried to keep it real, but it was tough. We settled down to attempt to watch the British version of The Office. Of course it was the British version because the American one hasn’t started yet. Apparently, this show is all the rage among people who think they’re really sophisticated and shit. It sucked. I laughed, like, once – total. I just don’t get this crap. I’ve never understood any British comedy, except Guy Ritchie movies, and he may not even mean for them to be funny, for all I know. Hell, I can barely understand what these people are saying. Screw ‘em. So now, for all of you who think you’re all down with this British crap, I say, “I can’t freaking wait for the American version, because I’ll be laughing my ass of, and when people ask me what was so funny, I’ll have actually understood the dialogue so I will be able to tell them!” God, I hate British comedy.

The Office was so bad I fell asleep in the middle of one of the episodes. And to top it off, when we decided to give up on it, guess what I watched instead? Fucking Sex and the City! Don’t even ask my how, but that shit is better. It’s better, and I hate Sarah Jessica Parker. And I don’t think Kim Catrall is anything special, either. And don’t even start on Cynthia Nixon. But Brooke from Melrose Place, knockout. Completely watchable. So call me a boor if you must, but I’m sticking with what I like, and that is most definitely not some stupid British excuse for a comedy.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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