Michael Moore's Replacement

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Sunday February 6, 2005.

With the vacuum created by the 2004 presidential election for conspiracy peddlers calling out the president, it became obvious that a new peddler was going to be necessary. Michael Moore seems to have lost credibility, which we can tell by his garnering zero Academy Award nominations, and the fact that Ed is making fun of him. So who is there to step it up and call Bush out? The obvious choice, that’s who. No, not Barbara Streisand, not Tim Robbins or Susan Sarandon, not even a Democrat in congress. Thik a little bit more critically here. Jose Canseco , of course.

“Canseco writes that President Bush ‘had to have been aware’ of rampant steroid use on the Texas Rangers when he owned the club in the early 1990s”

Canseco’s book has been promised for several years now. I heard him on the radio back in 2002, I think, talking about “telling all, naming names,” etc. But apparently the book has been stuck in its editing stages for quite some time now. The jokes just write themselves people. Jose Canseco’s book needed a lot of editing? I can’t imagine why. Had Canseco really been thinking, he would have finished the book up in 2001 or so just so it could be released in, say, October of last year, perfect to hammer Bush on yet another thing he should have stopped but didn’t. Dammit, Jose, what were you doing?

But political scandals aside, it seems Jose has missed the train on the steroid scandal thing. I mean, Jason Giambi already admitted using them, Ken Caminiti used them, and despite there being no concrete evidence against all the squids linked to BALCO, thinking people know they’re using. But the problem is that nobody seems to give a crap. Owners don’t care. Players either don’t care, are too worried to speak out, or are using themselves. Fans keep on showing up. Hell, the only thing Giants fans even care about anymore is Barry Bonds turning on one and sending it into the cove. Pump that bastared up some more. I’m not even sure I care, outside of the fact that I have a son who is a Little Leaguer. But if these morons want to juice so they can be hulking behemoths with tiny nads, fine by me. And if a man who once created a home run by having the ball hit him on the head and go over the fence needs to make a few bucks with a two-years-late book about roid use, let him. Poor Jose. I guess 40/40 just adds up to equal I.Q. anymore.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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