Like many of you, I spent some time at holiday parties that were thrown by companies and the like. We had one last Friday, another on Saturday (and we skipped two that night), and another on Sunday afternoon. And as many of you probably know, I am damn good at talking to people at these parties. I cruise around, entertain, then move on. A great effect of my traipsing around is that I get to reveal myself through the art of conversation.
At the Saturday party, I had one that made me really start to think about what an ass I can be:
Stephie: Do you want some wine?
S: White or Red?
Me: What do you mean white or red? Red! I’m against white wine.
S: You’re against white wine?
Me: Look, I don’t like it, but I have serious bises against certain shit. White wine, John Cusack, Canadians. Actually, I hate everything from Canada, not just the people. Screw Canada.
S: [Leaves to get wine]
Nobody from Canada ever did anything to me. Wait a minute. There was that one guy from that province called North Dakota who lived on my floor my freshman year. He always argued with me. Maybe that’s why I dislike Canada so much. Maybe I shouldn’t be against all Canadians, just those that come from NoDak. That guy always pissed me off with his patented “They don’t play anybody tough!” when discussing college football. Screw Canada. Their football only has three downs and you can get a point for missing a field goal. God I hate that place.