Christmas Cheer

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Thursday December 23, 2004.

Like many of you, I spent some time at holiday parties that were thrown by companies and the like. We had one last Friday, another on Saturday (and we skipped two that night), and another on Sunday afternoon. And as many of you probably know, I am damn good at talking to people at these parties. I cruise around, entertain, then move on. A great effect of my traipsing around is that I get to reveal myself through the art of conversation.

At the Saturday party, I had one that made me really start to think about what an ass I can be:

Stephie: Do you want some wine?
Me: Yes.
S: White or Red?
Me: What do you mean white or red? Red! I’m against white wine.
S: You’re against white wine?
Me: Look, I don’t like it, but I have serious bises against certain shit. White wine, John Cusack, Canadians. Actually, I hate everything from Canada, not just the people. Screw Canada.
S: [Leaves to get wine]

canada sucks
Is it wrong to just be against things for no real reason? I struggle within my person all the time with this question. I really want to be an accepting person, you know. I think gay people should be allowed to marry. I think women should get paid the same as men (but mostly because I’m married and my wife works, otherwise, screw ‘em). I think racial minorities should be able to vote. I’m just like every liberal thinking “acceptor of the world”. But I hate Canada. Why?

Nobody from Canada ever did anything to me. Wait a minute. There was that one guy from that province called North Dakota who lived on my floor my freshman year. He always argued with me. Maybe that’s why I dislike Canada so much. Maybe I shouldn’t be against all Canadians, just those that come from NoDak. That guy always pissed me off with his patented “They don’t play anybody tough!” when discussing college football. Screw Canada. Their football only has three downs and you can get a point for missing a field goal. God I hate that place.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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