Speaking of Faith...

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Wednesday April 13, 2005.

After the last post on this vaunted site of little faith, I was tested yet again today…twice. Actually, it was more than twice. But many of the times came in one game. That game, the Dodgers’ Home Opener™, was against the hated Giants. Jeff Weaver, who had shut the NoCals down in his first start of the season, was not so fortunate today. He gave up five in the first inning, and 3 more in the third to get run really damn early. Major test of faith there. But the Dodger offense responded with a few runs of their own to keep me interested. After three, 8-3 NoCal.

The much maligned Dodger bullpen went on to shut down the highly overachieving Giants offense the rest of the way. meanwhile, the Dodgers clawed out a couple more runs, and in the eighth even had the bases juiced with their hottest hitter at the plate in pornstar Jeff Kent (don’t believe me? Check the stache.). Kent proceeded to ground into a double play, but I’m convinced that’s only because he’s on my fantasy team, which is destined to lose. Actually, I should only pick Giants from now on, then I’ll watch them suffer as they live up to my fantasy team expectations. Headed to the ninth, 8-5 NoCal.

In the ninth, sparks flew, and the victory was all brought together with a single by Milton Bradley with the bases loaded, two outs, and two strikes that should have merely tied the game, but fielding genius Jason Ellis’ overrunning of the ball made it possible for the pornstar to score from first to end the game. Dodgers score 4 in the ninth to win it, and I stuck around for the entire damn thing. Props to me.

Test of faith number two. The RCLL Farm Cubs took to the field for the second time with their perfect record on the line. They were playing the A’s, whom they had never beaten in the regular season (0-2 last year, but a victory over the A’s in the playoffs was sweet, let me tell you.) The game moved quickly, mainly because the pitching machine was throwing high and hard, and kids can’t hit that shit to save their lives. It was an early 5-3 Cubs lead that stuck until the fifth. In the fifth, the Cubs’ defens disappeared and the A’s scored the limit of five runs to take an 8-5 lead. Where have I heard that score before?

I was ready to bail. The only thing that kept me there was that I had to give some kid a ride home after the game.

Bottom of five, the Cubs exploded for four runs and made it a game again at 9-8. Heading to the top of the sixth and final inning, and following the defensive meltdown of the previous inning, nerves were a wreck in the third base stands. First kid up grounds out. Next kid gets a hit. Runner on first, one away. Then the two strike count came. The catcher was rearing to go. Pitch, strike three, but the runner’s going. This guy (not the same game, but who can be bothered to take pictures at a time like this) fires to second to hose the runner and complete the “strike ‘em out, throw ‘em out double play. Game over, and Harry Freaking Caray was screaming from heaven (picture Will Ferrell with Hot Dogs stuffed in his face) “CUBS WIN, CUBS WIN!” I’m glad I stuck around.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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