I was glued, but that means I saw the good stuff

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Sunday August 29, 2004.

So the 2004 Olympics are over. Prior to the games, thee was a lot of worry that Athens, as the host city, and Greece, as the host nation, would fail to make the games a success. The venues were not completed, Greece has been sort of a hot spot for bad things to happen, the terrorists would invade, whatever. But Greece got the venues done, there were no Atlanta-like explosions, and I didn’t see any terrorists, so I guess it went well, right. Plus, the history of Greece osting the first modern Olympics and being the historic home added a ton to the television coverage. There were world records, disappointments, amazing accomplishments by the home favorites. All of those things make for a better experience to us as the viewers.

There were also plenty of USA, USA chants, which makes for great television back here. Some of our athletes are incredible people. I loved that Sanderson guy who won in Freestyle Wrestling. He was a bad ass. And his ears looked like they were put into a blender after he was finished with his gold medal match. I also like that the USA swept the medals in the Men’s 400. I have a special connection with 400 runners, mostly because, well, I really like the 400. “The road to the 400 runs through Waco, Texas.” Go Baylor.

With all the fun aside, I’ll finish on this: the Olympics was a huge success because only one guy was dicksanded by a spectator. Dicksanded means getting tossed to the ground. If you have to ask, you don’t want to know. Anyway, how awesome for Greece. Coordinating marathons is brutally tough. Constantly, spectators are running onto the course and throwing shoulders or banana peels to take out runners. Sometimes they even mob around them to slow them down. That’s all tough on the runners. Seriously, you think marathons are hard just because they are a really long race, but there are major obstacles, too. But luckily, somebody had this guy’s back. He was merely trying to save him because Jesus was preparing to make a second-coming. And surely no Brazilian could survive that, much less the leader of the Olympic Marathon, which wound its way along the historic path from the actual town of Marathon to Athens.

And somebody please explain why the other spectators had to pry the former priest off the runner. What was that security guy on the bike right freaking behind the leader doing? Was he in on the whole second-coming business? Yeah, he eventually got there, but that could have been only to prevent the obvious conspiracies from surfacing. Nice going, Greece. way to keep things cool until te flagship event on the last day of the games. That won’t give us anything to talk about, will it?

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

Archive | About