Don't fall for this one

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Monday May 29, 2006.

Wow. I’m speechless. Sort of. I guess I can say something about this junk. I will be spoiling the movie, but don’t worry if you haven’t seen it. Anyone with a brain wouldn’t do such a thing.

This might have been the worst movie ever. A History of Violence. Wow. It looked so promising. It was promoted well, I guess. I thought it was going to be this action thriller where we’re held in suspense and left guessing until the ultimate twist. Well, I thought wrong. When I saw promos for it, I got the idea that Viggo Mortenson was this nice guy who freaks out and kills people and wonders how he did it. But you learn quickly that he knows exactly who he is, and why he’s able to pull this shit off.

Then we ge the storyline of his kid. The kid is getting bullied. But he kicks the crap out of the bully and his dad gets mad. So the kid gets weird and leaves. End of that story.

And what was with the sex scenes? First, we get the wife in the cheerleading costume. It lasted just a bit too long. And the scene on the damn stairs. Odd. And long, too. I wonder if the reason they kep them long was that the movie was too short. It only lasted like 90 minutes.

The end was ridiculous. He goes to Philly, sees his brother who tries to kill him, winds up wacking everyone in sight, then goes home. End of movie. Christy and I wondered aloud about what could happen. She said she thought there would just be more mobsters coming, getting killed, and repeating the same scenario. Who knew we’d be right?

I kep telling her it had to have a twist. There would be redemption for the movie, right? Nope. It was weird, boring, and it just ended. Nothing to it. Brutal.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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