Entering the lexicon: Just Don't Get It Guy

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Monday February 4, 2008.

This is not a sports-related topic, but it starts there. As you may or may not know, I’m a sports fan. Mostly I like baseball, but spots in general interest me. As part of being a fan, I’ve long been a fan of sports talk radio. I don’t care nearly as much for the analysis of the shows I listen to as I do the entertainment value they bring, so let’s not start a war over whether Host A is worth your time.

Historically (this goes back ten years now—that’s history, baby) I’m a big Jim Rome fan. He’s hilarious. Less so since his show went from four to three hours, but funny still. I even try to figure out when he’s doing the annual Smack-Off and take the day for myself. It’s about as entertaining as anything you’ll find on the radio all year. You don’t even have to be a sports fan to laugh, but it might help. Anyway, one thing Rome has done for a long time now is come up with terms for a type of person, then generalize about him or her (mostly him—sports and all) in a pretty funny way. I still get multiple hits daily for once talking about Softball Guy (Jesus, I’m 4th on the term! And the now-defunct RGJ blog being 7th is surely due to my link strength. Props to me.). I’ve decided to do my part in this Web 2.0 world and add to the lexicon. I’ve come up with “Just Don’t Get It Guy.”

Here’s a short story for you. A good friend of mine asked me on Saturday if I’d ever had a conversation with a friend about politics that basically ended the friendship. I told him I hadn’t. So he explained how he had one a few days prior and was still thinking about how he’d pissed off the other guy so much that they may never talk again. See if you can guess which of them was the lefty and which was not. What I came away with was thinking how the guy who got mad was Just Don’t Get It Guy. He just couldn’t understand why my friend didn’t “get” his point of view, despite the fact that my friend understood the point of view, but refused to agree with it.

You see Just Don’t Get It Guy all over the place. I actually encounter them in sports situations—often when they refer to “heart” being the deciding factor in a game or some such nonsense. But you also see them all over the political realm. I knew I could find Just Don’t Get It Guy if I looked hard enough, and it took all of about three minutes to encounter him. Sometimes this is too easy. Follow that entire comment thread to understand the context, please. But basically, we have someone advocating violence against people who disagree with us, others attempting to reason, and violent guy pulling the Just Don’t Get It Card. Picture Freaking Perfect. Kudos to force_ten for not disappointing.

A few general characteristics of Just Don’t Get It Guy might be in order. Typically he is:

  • Losing an argument
  • Unable to reason
  • Attempting to claim superior intelligence/understanding
  • Seriously, getting his ass kicked in an argument
  • Unable to formulate a thought that might solidify his position
  • In the event a thought is formulated, unable to express it using words
  • Kinda stupid
  • Fun to poke

What it boils down to is that there is either a secret club for people who “get it,” and they’re not all that into letting outsiders into the club by imparting their knowledge of, well, everything, or they are so in love with their opinions that they can’t understand that they’re not being reasonable people, and that makes everyone else obviously uninformed or stupid. I vote for the second option because based on the people I generally see being Just Don’t Get It Guy, there’s no way in hell they belong to a club with better information than me. It’s clearly the unreasonable thing with them.

Take that comment I linked above, for example. We have a guy who is so angry at a group of people who, by all accounts, are assholes, but still entitled to protest whatever the hell they want unless expressly forbidden, that he can’t see that they should just be left to their retarded protest. Instead, he wants to bring a baseball bat to the protest and inflict pain on people who simply do not agree with him. You know what that sounds like? That sounds like those guys from the Westboro Baptist Church, only they don’t get violent. They just chant stuff and hold up signs. Just Don’t Get It Guy, on the other hand, prefers to go caveman, probably because it makes him feel macho. We should all know by now that macho and reason aren’t exactly brothers. Or in the same family. And to make sure that there is no further argument, macho guy turns into Just Don’t Get It Guy. Because who can argue that he’s wrong when he obviously gets it?

I hope this trip into the world of Just Don’t Get It Guy has been an interesting and informative one. If not, then, well, you just don’t get it.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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