If you ever wanted to rob a bunch of hippies, here’s your chance. Just come to my neighborhood this week. Why? They’re all going to Burning Man. Seriously, there are four vehicles mobilizing as I type this.
We have the dude down the street with white guy dreads who bought a camper for the back of his truck about two months ago and has been out there just about every weekend fixing it up. Well, now it’s hella full with coolers, glitter, and, presumably, weed.
Then there’s the crew two houses up who have what the kids call the “hangout house.” They call it that because that’s all people do there. It’s a constant party at that place. They go every year, and even have a golf cart with christmas lights all over it.
New to the area is the Transvan which of course is airbrushed into an image of the sun with some sort of Bhudda thing floating atop it. It was pulling a trailer, no doubt filled with all the essentials – water, clothing, food. Just kidding. It was filled with ecstasy, body paint, condoms, and well, maybe water.
The last vehicle I saw was some lame-ass toyota pickup filled with coolers. How boring is that guy? Not much to see here.
Then there were the people in Albertson’s buying up all the Sparks energy drink. Luckily, it was on sale for $1 apiece. Otherwise those fools would have been stuck with something sucky, like Gatorade. Poor saps they would have been. I do have to say, though, that that’s a pretty good deal for those drinks, which I kinda like.
More suspicious vehicles have been cruising the neighborhood, like the rented cargo van and several VW buses. But I can’t be sure they’re actually going, since the drivers looked a bit more normal than my neighbors, if you can believe VW bus drivers look more normal than anyone. But like I said, this is the week if you’ve always wanted beaded doorway curtains or a Bob Marley rug, but you didn’t want to pay for it.
Image credit: “giving us all hope was not enough” by Ethan Salter