The Joys of Summer

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Sunday July 11, 2004.

This is what we are currently looking at in our kitchen. It’s not much, but it looms. Folks, it appears that the fruit trees we have in our backyard have decided to bestow upon us more fruit than this family could ever possibly know what to do with. So we’ve done what just about any other insane family that has no idea what it’s about to get itself into would do: we looked up recipes for crap.

What you see in the picture is two bags of what we believe (and this is because a guy at a local nursery told us) are yellow cherries. We don’t plan on just having them hanging around for eating, so he said it was okay to pick them right now. All that did was facilitate a shitload of work around here. Luckily, I am busy posting on the internet while Christy cuts the cherries up and puts them in bags. I helped awhile back with the plums, and my hands got all prunish, like I had been in the bath all day. But I’m not really here to tell you what we are doing or are planning to do; I’m here to show you what we’re up against.

We have already picked the two bags you see above, and in case they don’t look all that big, check the perspective. And my hand is freaking huge. As is the toaster. But that’s not all. There is still an awful lot of the things remaining to be picked. And if that wasn’t clear enough for you, take a closer look. Those are just sections of the three trees that are pumping those cherries out right now. It’s starting to get really damn scary.

There is also another problem looming. We have, in addition to the cherries and plums, some apricots. The tree is large, as you may be able to see there. In fact, it’s so damn big that one of the larger branches has decided it no longer wants any part of the tree. That’s right, it is breaking off and currently resting atop the garage. In fact, I’m sure that it would be on the ground if the garage hadn’t stopped it from breaking completely off. I’ll have to figure out what the hell to do about the thing now. We are in serious trouble around here.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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