Game on

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Monday July 26, 2004.

I pick up my kids just about every day. I usually grab The Boy first, then head over to get The Girl. The ride home is short. Their respective places are no more than two miles away, so we get a pretty quick trip back to our place. The drive home consists of a cruise through downtown, then down a couple of residential streets and into our alley, then into the garage. I park in the garage “because dad’s car is faster,” according to The Girl. I’ll take it. The garage is where most of the problems begin.

Competition among the siblings has reached an ever-increasing high recently. Just about anything can lead to an argument about who’s better. I’ll ask, “Who’s going to have a good day?” The response will include both of them responding in the affirmative, then one of them saying their day will be better, then the other replying with, “Shut up, mine is going to be better.” And so it goes. Most of those don’t end until a parent steps in and keeps The Boy from screaming at the top of his lungs at The Girl. She can really keep her cool in those situations, which leads one to believe that she really doesn’t give a crap, but knows he does, so she keeps on with it. But back to the garage. Every day, one of them “calls” closing the garage. It’s a similar thing to calling shotgun. You call it, you get it.

The calling started after The Boy asked a few times if I’d let him close the door. The The Girls started asking, which made the boy a little bit distraught. it was sort of his thing. But I had to let her, she asked. then The Boy began to yell, “I CALL CLOSING THE GARAGE” on the way home. I was like, “Easy there big horse, you can close it.” He did it every day. Every single day. And every day The Girl would bitch about how he always gets to do it. Some days I stepped in and let her do it. Then she started calling it. Jesus. So now as soon as I get her, we open the door to the car and it’s a race to see who can call the garage closing. Somedays it’s really close, so I just tell them I get a turn. And the evolution has continued. We’ve moved from calling the garage to calling the garage, the mail (if there is any), getting the red bowl down (where we keep snacks for after school), and turning on (off) the TV. It’s completely ridiculous. and each one of these events has the potential to start WWIII in my house.

I’ve begun to conssider starting competitions with Christy that may catch on house-wide. They would be calling the dishes, mopping the floor, vacuuming, washing the sheets, etc. Currently, my competitive desire just isn’t up to par with either of the kids, because Christy is kicking my ass at all of those things. But I’m okay with that. We just need to actually start calling them so a little competition creeps in at some point. It’ll be great hearing the kids fight over who gets to scrub the toilet, mow the lawn, or wash my clothes.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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