I was driving to work today, with The Boy, and we heard a classic PSA on the radio. It’s actually a pretty good one. It starts out with Paul O’Neill running to third base, and the throw goes to Matt Williams (The Carson City Crusher, for the uninitiated), but O’Neill gets there safely. They chat about literacy or some such thing (I can’t believe I don’t actually know what they talk about). At the end, O’Neill takes off backwards, is informed by Williams of his blunder, and O’Neill finishes by saying that he forgot to drop one (brochure?) off at second base. Overall, not a bad PSA. If you’re living in 1997. Get that thing the hell off the radio now, please. Those guys have been out of baseball for at least three years, probably more. And they weren’t relevant after 1999, and I’m being generous here.
And how on Earth did they get Paul O’Neill to do a PSA anyway? Isn’t he known for being an asshole? (Okay, I’ve only heard it, but Albert Belle’s Wikipedia entry calls O’Neill “similarly volcanic,” and let me tell you, if the dude is similarly volcanic to Belle, that’s epic assholitude.)
So I have some suggestions for a new PSA. Legendary Nice Guyâ„¢ Barry Bonds and good Bonds friend Russ Springer. Surely the creatives can work up a scenario where the two get together for a little “chat,” right? Like on the mound after Springer bounces one off of Bonds’ elbow pad on his third try to “go inside?” But could we even hear the conversation with the cheering the Houston fans would be doing if such a thing were to occur…again? I don’t know, and I really don’t care. Just get those old bastards off my radio.