It's cool to eat children again

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Tuesday October 17, 2006.

There are at least five things horribly wrong in this story. Instead of playing a game where I make you all guess what they are, I’ll simply detail them. It doesn’t get much better.

  1. Mike Tyson wants to box women. (Insert joke about just wanting what he already does to be sanctioned at your own peril.)
  2. The press conference was held at an italian restaurant. (WTF?)
  3. Iron Mike was campaigning for some guy running for senate. (There is no way in hell the candidate authorized this.)
  4. The senate candidate is running in Maryland; Iron Mike was in Ohio. (Actually, this probably makes perfect sense to a cat like Tyson.)
  5. Mike still has that thing all over his face. (At one point he said he was going to do the other side, but I think Don King took the money for that.)

I’m cool if you add anything you may have spotted to the list. Also, if he fights women, how does he break out his “I’ll make you my ho!” line without sounding totally cliché?

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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