Muhammad was the man

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Wednesday June 23, 2004.

I have to, have to, preface this post with a statement. I am not a religious person at all. I have no religion, so I can therefore tell you that I am against no religion, unless you could make the case that I am against all religion. so this post is not about slamming a religion, it is about having fun with a book that was released by some people who happen to have a religion. So no, it is not a shot at a religion, it is a shot at some really funny stuff.

I was shown a book today. It fascinated me. The front of it is very colorful. In fact, the front of it pulled me in, and I started reading. Now, as you may be able to tell from the title, the book’s purpose is to prove to the reader that God, in fact, exists, and the only true prophet is Muhammad. So this book will detail (with pictures) how Muhammad got God’s word and put it into the text known as, “The Qur’an.” Immediately, I was given a section on how the Qur’an “speaks about the stages of man’s embryonic development.” In fact, this little bit is in a larger section that tells of the Qur’an’s descriptions of many “miracles,” like the formation of muntains and clouds and such. But I thought, “wow, like, how did the Qur’an know that embryos would be in all these different stages and stuff when they didn’t have any microscopes back then?” Quote from the Qur’an:

We created man from an abstract of clay. ThenWe made him as a dropin a place of settlement, firmly fixed. Then We made the drop into an alaqah (leech, suspended thing, and blood clot), then We made the alaqah into a mudghah (chewed substance)...

That sounds pretty interesting. And the fact that this book is an illustrated guide makes it even better. I love the pictures, and this particular section could only be better if there were some pictures to demonstrate what, exactly, was being said with the text. But there’s a minor problem. The word alaqah has three meanings in arabic. You see them in the parentheses above. But I figured that if they could prove that at least two of the three were correct, then I would in no way question it. They did. First, we have the embryo compared to leech shot. Looking good so far. Then, as we all know, they come with the the embryo is suspended while in the womb proof. damn. They got me. So, the first word from the Qur’an regarding embryos is proven to this non-believer.

With that all accomplished, the book moved on to the next stage of converting me. And after such irrefutable proof, I was almost willing to believe anything. Hell, I was already looking into the difficulty of changing my name, along with the kids’ names. But I did keep reading nonetheless. No screwing around here, as far as these authors are concerned. Let’s go right to the visual proof of God’s existence and Muhammad’s true place alongside him. Yes, people, the embryo in some stage looks identical to a piece of chewed up gum. No doubt about it. I am a believer. And this all happened on or before page freaking NINE. Why did they even continue putting the words (and amazing pictures) onto the paper in front of them? There was absolutely no need. Call me a changed man, but I must say this was one amazing day of enlightenment.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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