Things are just getting weird around here. You’d think that after being threatened with a lawsuit, offered a coffee date to resolve things, being sent a Cease and Desist, and having a web host dump you—all at the hands of a former Division I soccer coach and her marvelous attorney—you’d have seen it all.
So check this out. I’m hanging around my house on April 12, a Saturday (no idea why that matters—should have just removed it), and sitting at the computer. I get an email. It’s from Anon Ymous (seriously). Sweet. I love anonydouches. I see it, while I’m on the phone with Christy, and laugh. She asks what’s going on and I tell her I just got an email. She asks what its about, and by then I had quickly caught the little preview offered by the fantastic Gmail. It says “Ryan I work with your wife.” Oh shit. I know exactly what’s up here, so I tell her it was nothing and we finish the conversation. I knew she’d worry. I read the rest and, well, here it is (and assume the person sending it to me doesn’t know how to bold the important stuff, so I added it for her, errrr, whoever):
Ryan I work with your wife. The UNR central administration do not want publicity on the lawsuit. It is very dangerous to them. Regardless of your intent they do not like your blog. They have found out that Christy works at UNR. They discard people who call attention to anything negative and the lawsuit is a real negative to them. Be careful and think about the affect this will have on Christy’s job. I was going to email her but did not want this on the UNR server. They terminate whistle blowers and you are a whistle blower to them right now. Be careful.
Holy scary, right? So I wait for Christy to get home and we talk about it with scrunched foreheads. After that discussion and, like, 40 beers (not really), we have a good laugh about it. It’s so ridiculous that we start making up ways to incorporate it into our daily lives. I start going around saying stuff like, “Since I work with you, I’m worried about our livelihoods” and stuff like that. And every time it happens, we laugh. And hug. Because we’re happy people.
So whatever. Life goes on, Christy continues to go to work, etc. Then, like, a couple of days later, she signs some papers at work. OMGWTF!?!1 Oh yeah, it’s just that promotion she got. The one that makes her Assistant Director of her department and all that. Whew. When she called me to tell me I was all nervous she just got canned because I outed a former soccer coach’s propensity for commenting anonymously. Psych!
After many happy days together, we arrive at Friday, May 2 (again, assume lack of formatting knowledge):
From: anonymous anonymous Fri, May 2, 2008 at 2:35 PM
Ryan, the UNR is under investigation by the FBI. The President too. This is serious stuff. All the whistleblower lawsuits are problematic to UNR. Keep Christy, your family and our office out of this. I know you are po’d that your site is being shut down. Some things are best. Stay away from this. Your blog is creating a lot of pressure in our office. I alerted you once. Your wife’s career should be your priority. Cheers.
Something is off here. The first email came from Anon Ymous (a Yahoo! account), but the second came from anonymous anonymous (a Gmail account). Are these even the same person? Are there multiple people from Christy’s department concerned about our situation? Will I ever remember to turn the dogcam on during the day? And seriously, WTF? It’s almost like the person who “works with Christy” didn’t know she just got promoted. What are we to do? Oh yeah, we laughed again. That’s the thing two happy people who love each other and have dinner at Greek Night at the Blue Plate followed by skipping to the Chocolate Bar for dessert/drinks do when they’re together. They laugh about the (allegedly) retarded person sending emails anonymously trying to intimidate them.
So, I ask you, friend of mrjerz.org, should we be worried? Is the administration at UNR really worried about what I do on this blog? Are G-Men crawling around the grass in front of Clark Administration as I type? Pretend you know nothing but what I’ve told you here today. Are we in for it?
And if not (as if), who do you think might be sending the emails?
Anyone want to claim copyright on them?