Sometimes It's Too Easy

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Thursday July 28, 2005.

It’s getting a little dangerous to be a spammer these days. And while I don’t condone the beatdowns of spammers, I do dislike what spammers do. They suck. But I have to be honest with you. I don’t get a lot of spam. Apparently, my workplace has done a fine job of keeping most of it out. I do get a tiny bit, but not much. maybe, like, 2-5 pieces a day. That’s very manageable. At home, I use Gmail and they do an even better job of keeping the crap out. I get about 2 spams in my inbox per week there. So overall, I’m happy.

But naturally, I scrutinize a lot of the stuff that gets into my inbox. I generally recognize the names of the senders and that stuff. But sometimes the emails I get are so bizarre I have no choice but to assume they were generated by some bot trying to fool the filters. Like, take this one, for example:

hey check this out sometime bro.

That’s the entirety of the message. First, it’s pretty short. Second, some dude is calling me “bro.” And third, there is a link to what I know is a very lame site – MySpace. Seriously, who uses MySpace? So, knowing that the worst that could happen would be a few naked ladies showing up on my screen (remember, I am a Mac user, therefore that really is the worst thing that could happen), I clicked the link. Did you check it? If not, here it is again. Do you see that guy? Not one of the morons on the side trying their best to do the “hey, look at me, I’m silly” face. The dude sleeping. That’s the spammer that got me. And when I say spammer, I mean the guy who nailed me with an unwanted and unsolicited email. He must have gotten the address off the bottom of this page. It’s encoded so bots can’t pick it up, but people, the new wave of spammers, can always pick it up if they have the time. Like, if you are a company whose bots are being thwarted by encoded emails, you might outsource your spamming technology to a small village in Cambodia or something.

Anyway, I thought I might drop this fool a line and let him know that I don’t appreciate his spammage, in a very nice way with minimal cussing. But when I tried to do so, I got taken to a MySpace registration screen. The last thing I want to have my email address is a site that allows people to use repeated images of planets, chinese (japanese?) pagodas, or some ridicculous pattern you’d never use on your own website if you have any sense of decency. So I didn’t give it to them. Therefore, I didn’t get to send that spank any profanity. I was hosed by the spammer. I was pissed and had no way of retaliating. If any of you have an account at MySpace (no questions asked), feel free to have my back. I especially just want to tell my brother that he should not be putting Alice Cooper on his homepage.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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