The Family Grows

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Tuesday August 23, 2005.

We got a dog. I never wanted a dog, but I gave in. Everyone else wanted a dog, so somehow, they made me have some weird dream where I had a dog, and life was still okay, so I woke up one morning and said, “I think I’m ready to get a dog.” So we took a trip to the Humane Society and took a look around. That’s when we found him. His name used to be Old Man, but he didn’t really answer to that. So we had to pick a new name.

With the new obsession in our house, Napoleon Dynamite, we had a few choice names from which to choose. Obviously, one was Napoleon, which The Girl voted for. Actually, she didn’t want Napoleon, she wanted Napoleo*m*. But that was too obvious. Then, of course, there was Pedro. The Boy wanted that one. But again, too obvious. Then there was a mention of Tina, which was the name of that llama in the movie. That one would be cool ecaue you could yell things like, “Tina, come get some dinner!” and crap like that. But nobody wants to stress out some poor new dog. Besides, nobody would remember Tina in a few years.

Then I had to step in. Who was the coolest character in that movie? Kip? No. While he was cool, and eventually got pimped out and fresh-looking, I can’t say he was the coolest. The coolest by far was Uncle Rico. Plus, as an added bonus, naming any dog Uncle is awesome. And who doesn’t want their dog to be named after a guy who sets up video cameras to tape himself throwing footballs? Badly. And reliving his high school glory days like Al Bundy. I’ll tell you what. I do. So everyone else agreed, and we named this character Uncle Rico.

I’ll save all the fawning over him for other people. I have no idea who. But he’s a sheepdog/lab-retriever/chow mix. He’s 4 years old, and he’s really well-behaved. I couldn’t handle anyhing less. I actually wanted to only get a small dog. This guy is about 55 lbs. so he’s a bit bigger than I wanted. But if he remains this well-behaved I’m cool. Even if he doesn’t, it’ll probably be my fault anyway. I’m the one who does things with him. He plays ball, which can keep the kids occupied for hours on end. So I figure if he isn’t already, he’ll be in pretty good shape real soon.

As for the pictures, save your requests. I will not be that guy. Sorry. If you have requests, I’ll take cash, but other than that, I’m not going to be posting pictures of the dog. Mostly because of this guy. He’ll think I’m a hack, and I can’t have that. he gets grants and shit. So I need to stay on his good side. Anyway, that’s the dog story. Get over it now.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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