The first official mrjerz clause

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Friday June 16, 2006.

dick cheneyI like Dick Cheney. I like him for one reason alone. He told some self-important Senator to go fuck himself. And I think that’s admirable. In fact, I think I’m going to incorporate “Go fuck yourself” into my normal interactions with people on the internet. And how funny is that? I now actually have seperate types of interactions – personal and internet. Well, from what I can tell, my latest internet interactions are worthy of people fucking themselves. So there. I think I’ll start a new section of the site called “People who should fuck themselves, preferably away from me.” The problem with that is that most of them are such pansies they don’t use their names. So it would just be this long string of “anonymous” and they person wouldn’t know they were supposed to be fucking themself at that moment, not in my presence. Or, maybe it could be interpreted that if you are a person who uses anonymity to “protect yourself” or whatever garbage you’re spewing as the reason, fucking yourself should just be par for the course. However you want to read it is up to you. Exemptions from the Fucking One’s Self Clauseâ„¢ would include, but not be limited to, sports sites (because anonymity allows for information that would not be public to spread among interested parties, such as front office insight and the like). Expressly included in the Clause would be politcal sites, simply because politicians are assholes and they use their naive, brainwashed lackeys, who also happen to be assholes, to spread around bullshit either about themselves or about their opponents, and it completely ruins the discourse on a site. Go ahead and include self-proclaimed politcal operatives in there, too.

Thank you, and have a great day, or go fuck yourself, whichever applies to you.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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