I have a confession to make tonight. See, I happen to think this site is pretty freaking funny. I laugh at my stuff all the damn time. That’s not the secret (funny). Neither is my secret that I like to dress up as a woman and dance. I don’t do that, and now that I look back on writing it, it’s not even funny. My secret goes so much deeper than anything any of you might ever guess. See, I write almost constantly about something funny that happens to me during the day, or that I witness during the day, or that I thought during the day. It’s all pretty mundane stuff, but funny. In fact, sometimes it comes so easily that I almost feel guilty writing about it, because it seems as though it’s been done already. And it was, that day, in my life.
The secret is that I am damn lucky. I have some of the funniest crap happen around me, and I have this ability to see it. It’s all about demeanor. I go through life seeking things to make fun of. It’s like energy to me. I see it, I make fun of it, and sometimes people laugh, sometimes they tell me I have no class, to which I tell them to F themselves (classy comeback) (see, funny) and show them that I have as much class in my middle finger (get it) than they have in their entire body, or whatever. But it still comes down to luck. If I didn’t see some guy making a jackass of himself at the store, I wouldn’t have that to write about. And someone else might just tell the story of the jackass at the store. But my “always looking to haze the shit out of anything that moves” attitude is what makes it possible for me to entertain. I see the jackass and think of saying things that would only serve to hurt his feelings and make him more angry, and then picture what his response would be, which usually makes me laugh out loud, which then at least makes him realize he’s being a dumbshit, and either he backs off or hilarity ensues as he rushes out in anger. Oh, and it’s also a reason I definitely grew to hate my job at the bank. I sort of did that and people generally didn’t back down.
The lesson you should all take from this is that if you view life as a big joke where you happen to be the comedian, you’ll certainly find more things to write about that people will thnk are funny, and what could be more important than that? That, and not a damn thing happened to me today.