I Need Niners Tickets

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Tuesday November 16, 2004.

Okay, sorry. Enough of the election and sporadic posting and (the lack of) all of that crap. Here is the obligatory “I know I haven’t posted, but hey, I’m busy” post. Actually, I would never do that to any of you. I know you are all way too smart to fall for te “I promise I’ll post all the time now” business. What a bunch of crap. And besides, it’s not like The Hand is beating me or anything. So let’s get back to what this site is really all about: me.

In the past week or three, I’ve been doing this side gig at a local casino. It’s not bad. I MC the Monday Night Football “party,” which basically amounts to giving shit away to a whole bunch of regulars, like t-shirts with beer logos on them, keychains, occasional money, and every onece in a while we’ll give away something cool (or not, really) like 49ers tickets. And to these people, there isn’t much better than 49ers tickets. They happen to be the “local” team, which just means that they have won the most Super Bowls in the past 15 years, which is as far back as anyone around here can remember, especially guys from Carson. But the reality is that the 49ers might just be the worst team in football at any level, including Single-A. Dude, Carlin would kick their ass.

So last night we had a pair of tickets to give away. And as if the 49ers weren’t bad enough, the game was against the Bills. Jesus. And to top that off, it was the day after Christmas. So, we get tickets to a game at Candlestick Park, which might just be colder than Green Bay, in December, watching the worst team in football, at any level, against the third worst team in football. But these people were hot for those tickets. Basically, everyone in the joint wanted those things. So I pulled a ticket, called out the number, and no one showed up. I waited a minute, much to the chagrin of the awaiting drunkards. See, this place is a “locals” casino, which means they have a lot of people who roll in, grab their tickets, then head out to play the slots while watching the game instead of watching the game in the area where the party is happening. And the casino people want it that way. So we have to cater to them.

After waiting a bit, I got back on the mic and did the whole, “going once…” bit. Still no one. Then I drew another number. The dude was right next to me and fired up. He told me he’d never been to a game before, and was so excited. I gave him the tickets. Enter the first guy, looking for tickets. To his credit, he looked a little winded, but that could have been from all the smoke he’d inhaled in his time there. I didn’t know what to do. See, I had been warned about the guys who play the machines and roll in to collect later on. Except this was different to me. Everyone in the place knew about those tickets; I’d been pimping them all night. Plus I’d been pimping them the entire fourth quarter.

Luckily, I’m not alone there. The casino marketing director (I think) works with me the entire time. Unluckily, she’s only been doing this a week longer than me, so she’s not really all that into asserting any sort of control over a situation. She told me that we’d have to give the tickets to the first guy because he was in the casino, and the rules say that’s all you need. Plus, the first guy was “a regular” and the second guy was not. But I did not want to take them back from the other guy. He was 1) not drunk, 2) genuinely happy, 3) really appreciative that we would even consider sending him to his first game. So I told her that we had to do something for him. Hell, I’d buy the damn tickets if that’s what it took. I get paid to do this, and I’m not about to let it ruin anybody’s night while I appily collect my check every week. We’ll see how that turns out, or if I’m even invited back.

But we have heretofore outlined the main problem I have with this particular casino’s promotion on Monday nights. It’s more about rewarding regular patrons than it is about bringing in new business and rewarding those people to hopefully make them regular patrons. Shit, in the time I’ve been doing this I’ve brought in more people just because they’re my friends than new people I’ve seen. It’s the same crowd every week, and we need to fix that. If we get this second guy tickets, we could have a customer for life.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

Archive | About