Tommy Trojan Rides

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Wednesday January 5, 2005.

I seem to do this every year, so why stop now? And for all of you readers who aren’t into sports enough to know what I’m talking about, just read it anyway because I’m a great writer.

Wire to wire. All year long, they had no trouble getting up for big games. They played down to some of the competition, usually in the first half, but never faltered. And I listened to the pre game show on the radio, and all these hacks could talk about was OU. No bias against the west coast here at all. In fact, I am amazed that USC ever got the #1 ranking to begin with. They had no love from any of the pundits I saw, but they not only showed that they deserved to be #1, they made Oklahoma look like a bad WAC team, like Nevada maybe. And all this was before halftime. Ashlee Simpson, who made me groan the second I saw her get on that stage, made Oklahoma look even worse. I’m not even sure how that was possible, but she did it. Actually, it wasn’t Ashlee, it was that redneck with the tight wranglers who made them look bad. Maybe both. Or maybe it was Kelly Clarkson’s non-working Mic and her obsession with holding in her earpiece. Whatever. Actually, I think it was that really bad Ford Pregame Show spot where they showed the crowd and made it look like they were holding up those cards that say things and then you turn them and they say something else, but these weren’t real, they were digitally added so there were the cards and there were people walking around under them. That was bad. That should have been the sign for OU.

Now, also, can we finally start having the talk about the Big 12? Please. Can anyone, anyone, say the word “OVERRATED?” The last three years or something like that a Big 12 team has gotten rolled in the BCS Title Game. And in two of those years, the Big 12 team in the title game hadn’t even won the conference. They were second in their conference but good enough to go play for the title? That sound slightly like they’re being rated a little higher than they should be. And let’s not forget that when I say “rolled,” I mean bitchslapped up and down both sides of the field repeatedly for sixty minutes of playing time and roughly 3.5 hours of actual time. They made no effort to even show they belonged there. Let’s hope that next year we don’t hear crap like, “The Big 12 is good because they’ve sent a team to the national title game, like, every year ever.” Or, at least, let’s hear that and then someone will say, “Yeah, but each of those cities still smells badly from the odor that team brought with them, so we need to relegate the Big 12 to 1AA status before they do it again.” Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Let’s see if a Big 12 team could hang in the 1AA playoffs by winning it. If they do, let them back into the real level of football. And while we’re at it, send all those Florida schools too.

One last thing…Pete Carroll, the ONLY job I will allow you to leave USC for happens to be located, like, two miles from my house. So please remember that if you go, it better be to Reno to save us from the Little General, or I might have to kick your platform diving ass.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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