Welcome Aboard, mrjerz

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Tuesday February 1, 2005.

I admit. I’m a lot slow sometimes, but I’ve caught up. My homepage for, like, ever, has been a my Yahoo! page. I’ve loved it. It’s customized, has really specific things on it like Dodgers news, (cough) Raiders news, and (cough, cough) Lakers news. Also, Mac news, and the like. I’ve been happy. Plus, I’ve been doing this for so freaking long (#2) that my screen name on Yahoo! has a SPACE in it! You can’t get spaces anymore! I have 0wnZor3d Yahoo! for longer than most of you even knew what a computer was. But it’s all going to change. Maybe.

Today, I discovered Google News. And yeah, it’s better. The news is more current, pictures are included with each story, as opposed to just headlines, and it is coming from many sources, as opposed to simply coming from the AP, which is how it comes at Yahoo! I scrolled around, got to the sports section, and ran into this crap. What is this? Three headlines. Got it. Top headline, some bunk about some soccer team. I was like, “OK, something must have gotten screwed up. Maybe I hit the Euro button or something.” Nope. It says right on the top of the page, “US.” No way. Next headline, Super Bowl crap. Not bad. I get it. It’s on Sunday, so we have to talk about it. But Terrell Owens needs to either shut his yapper and stay away from the media, or he’s totally bullshitting us. Yeah, we get it! You’re PLAYING. Then, whamo! More soccer. WTF!?!?!?!!1?/? THIS IS AMERICA! We hate soccer here. Save your crap about how it’s misunderstood. I KNOW IT IS, THAT’S WHY WE HATE IT. We don’t like stuff we don’t get, and how can anyone get a game that’s played in the middle 30 feet of a giant field, as far away from either goal as is humanly possible for 90% of the time? I don’t get the airplane thing they do when they score goals. Baseball may move slowly, but THEY SCORE POINTS in baseball.

Google, get soccer off the front page, and we’ll talk, okay? Until then, I’ll stick with the reliable, customizable, non-soccer-centric Yahoo!

And while we’re on the topic of sports, two things. First, I was sad to see the Swiss Miss got beat in her comeback. For some reason, I always liked her, even amid the horrific Kournikova craze that swept the planet in the late ‘90’s. The big thing, I guess, was that she used to win. That’s part of being a good tennis player, winning. Hell, she was #1 in the world for a long run until thaose two bad-ass dudes from South Central entered the scene. Actually, Serena isn’t nearly the dude that her sister is. But they are pretty good at tennis. I think they could take me. Anyway, good luck to her, and may she rise again!

Next, Bill Plaschke can suck it. I heard him this morning on The Herd which, due to it’s earlier than Jim Rome time slot is becoming my favorite show, and Plaschke was talking about the Dodgers, and how they’ve screwed up royally in this offseason by making the moves they’ve made. He claims that the die-hards are pissed, and the Dodgers are doing irreparable damage to their fan base. Die-hards, hmm. Are those the guys that sit in the bleachers? Are they the ones renewing season ticket orders? And if they are not renewing season tickets, how are they die-hards? In fact, I think that when this team competes for another division title this year, and those people all start showing up to games to see their team that is in the hunt winning games against weaker division rivals, the last laugh will be had by the Dodgers, and not Plaschke. And as for the guys in the bleachers, going to games simply to get wasted and fight does not make you a die-hard, it makes you a Raider fan. Leave it to Plaschke to say something that lacks any, how d you say? Ahh yes, evidence.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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