Welcome to _______, have a nice day

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Thursday May 11, 2006.

Man am I bummed about today. I had to go somewhere, and it’s somewhere I never, and I mean NEVER, want to go. I had to go for work. And I was by myself. It’s a place filled with mullets, big pickup trucks, softball girlfriends, and of course, trailers. Not that trailers are bad, per se; I mean they do tend to attract wonderful community assets like meth labs, child pornography studios, and domestic beatdown centers.

The trip was mostly uneventful until I stopped by a grocery store on my way back to the office. I was near one, and my secret society there needed some of our special good coffee, so I volunteered to stop and get it. See, we can’t drink the normal office sludge that’s pumped out in the other part of the building, so there’s a secret coffeemaker in the small secondary kitchen that we don’t tell the suits about. Us creative types need special things, you know?

Anyway, I’m at the store. I see a lady at a stop sign in the parking lot (here we go again with woman drivers, but hear me out). It’s a two-way stop. Going the other way is a guy who does NOT have a stop. The lady starts to go, gets a few feet into the lane, hesitates, and is totally stuck in that spot where you probably should stop, but you’d be all embarrassed because you’re totally out in the road. So she guns it. Squeals, ‘em, even. Minivans are sweet for burning it up.

The guy, having seen the whole thing transpire in front of him, had slowed down to not smash into the side of her. But this is where it gets good. He lets her go by, shakes his head, and starts up again. Then he looks her way (she’s at least 100 feet away by now) and flips her off. Perfect. Remind me again why I had to come here. That guy represented his town to the exact stereotype I would have expected. Nothing more, nothing less. Definitely nothing less.

Now, just to make this interesting, I’m going to open up the comments and see if anyone can guess where this happened. If you’re not a local, feel free to guess just the same. But be advised that this happened within 35 miles of Reno. Break out a map and throw a name in. If you’re right, kudos, and I’ll give you a shout-out in my next podcast. If you’re wrong, I’ll tell you other great things about the place you chose. Basically, Reno is the only safe town in these parts, as far as I’m concerned. Everywhere else is the pits. So guess away, and I’ll reveal when I feel like it’s time.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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