Wild Island was not shut down by a kid with knowledge

Posted by Ryan Jerz on Tuesday July 3, 2007.

We all know that rumors, when spread among kids, tend to be filled with hyperbole and non-truths. Today’s kid-brought-home rumor happened to be about Wild Island (full disclosure: I own a season pass and might even do some work for them—the horror).

Here’s the story. Apparently, sometime the weekend of June 30/July1 all the slides were shut down. They were shut down, according to rumor, by some kid who knew where the main shutoff valve was for the waterpark. As a result, some kid on the Scorpion broke all of her bones. Damn, knowing where the main could be a profitable (and powerful) venture. Alas, it wasn’t true.

Yes, all slides were shut down, but it was not due to a kid who happened to know the secret location of the main valve (I don know its location—I’m just not telling you—and nobody broke all of their bones). It was due to some jackasses drag racing. Nice going, East Reno. A Cherokee and a Stratus? That’s like an angry dance-off between Sparks and Reed. Everybody loses, especially the spectators. Save your lawsuits claiming that Wild Island strategically shut down the park to scam your $25, and start praying for East Reno to save itself. It needs you, America.

Ryan JerzRyan Jerz is an all-around good guy who wants people to eventually refer to him as "that dude who climbs mountains."

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